that crazy cancer girl

My journey through cervical cancer

Surprise!!! It’s cancer!!!

on September 30, 2013

Well not quite the surprise anyone wants to hear right? However it was the words I heard this weekend. Friday the 27 of September 2013. I need to write that date because when I am finished this journey I need to be able to look back at that date and know that I finished this journey with God’s help and the prayers of so so many people!!

I wanted to start this blog for 3 reasons.

1- I will need to vent. The good, the bad and the very ugly. This will be raw at times and maybe overly detailed. I will share things that you may not want to hear or read about. This is my journey and I need to write about it,

2- I need to update family and friends on everything that I go through, from Dr appointments to surgeries, to test results.

3- I’m not sure, but I would hope maybe I could help someone else who is going down the same road I am going down.

Have you ever felt like you were all alone in this world?? I’ll admit it, I did. Matter of fact just a few weeks ago I told D that I feel like I don’t have any friends. I was in so much pain and I was the one who pulled away. I didn’t want people to see me hurting or feeling sick. I put on that happy face so that everyone knew that Sarah had it all together. Did I? Everyone thought I did.

I’m going to back up a little and tell you how I found out about the cancer. This will be gross and detailed and things that will make you wish you hadn’t have read that. That is your warning… 😉 Skip to the bottom if you don’t want to know.

Last year when D and I would have “relations” I would bleed afterwards. Nothing major, but did put up a few antennas in my head. It didn’t happen every time, but this year became more frequent. June 30th of this year, I woke up with extreme lower back pain. Finally D told me you need to go to the ER, something is really wrong. After a few hours or testing along with a catscan, the Dr told me that I had an extreme kidney infection. He gave me some antibiotics and pain pills and sent me on my way. One month later I still felt like crap. July 3rd I started bleeding, not just regular menstrual bleeding, but massive wear a diaper bleeding. I was passing blood clots the size of small animals. I’m not even kidding, it was ugly. I thought this is quite the period! It went on and on and come August 3rd I thought this is bad, really bad. Here’s the kicker. We have no insurance. Thank you Obamacare! My husbands company presented us with the new “package” of $1969 a month for our family of 5. Some of you may be able to afford that. However Obama can take that “affordable” health care plan and stick it! No that is not a Christian way of putting it, but sometimes I have to speak how I feel.

Back to my story. I started calling around to different Gyno offices to try and get an appointment. I have heard everything from “sorry we do not treat people without insurance because you all don’t pay your bills” to “sure we can see you, our next appointment is in Dec” or my favorite, “your uninsured? It will be $650 just to walk in the door and you have to pay that up front”. I’m not even kidding! On the other extreme my hard working husband makes to much for any assistance such as Medicaid or free clinics. We were literally stuck in the middle! I decided to hang in there and hoped to God it was early menopause! Sept. 3rd came and I was still bleeding. Fast forward to Sept. 27. I woke up to severe bleeding, another word for it is hemorrhaging. D rushed me to the ER. They took me right back and started a very long day of testing. 4 pelvic exams a ultrasound probe, catscan and so much more. Then they dropped the bomb. You have advanced cervical cancer… How advanced? How is it cancer? It is treatable? Question after question filled my mind, but no words came out. I sat and cried. It’s all I could do.

A urologist came to see me and told me that the tumor was blocking my right ureter causing my right kidney to be completely backed up and useless. He wanted to put a stint through to drain it. I was taken to the OR and when I woke up I was told the mass was bigger then what they thought and it was unsuccessful. I cried some more. I knew then that this journey was going to be a long hard journey.

I’m going to end this here because the pain is too much for me tonight and the drugs are kicking in. Also this is getting long and I don’t want you to be tired of reading 😉 Tomorrow I am going to the oncologist to hopefully get all my questions answered and to see what plan of attack we are going to take on this! I will update soon!

Luke 9:56 ~ The Lord did not come to destroy, but to save!



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