that crazy cancer girl

My journey through cervical cancer

Laughter is the Best Medicine!!

on October 5, 2013

Mandesa – Stronger

Hey, heard you were up all night
Thinking about how your world ain’t right
And you wonder if things will ever get better
And you’re asking why is it always raining on you
When all you want is just a little good news
Instead of standing there stuck out in the weather

Oh, don’t hang your head
It’s gonna end
God’s right there
Even if it’s hard to see Him
I promise you that He still cares

When the waves are taking you under
Hold on just a little bit longer
He knows that this is gonna make you stronger, stronger
The pain ain’t gonna last forever
And things can only get better
Believe me
This is gonna make you stronger
Gonna make you stronger, stronger, stronger
Believe me, this is gonna make you …

Try and do the best you can
Hold on and let Him hold your hand
And go on and fall into the arms of Jesus
Oh, lift your head it’s gonna end
God’s right there
Even when you just can’t feel Him
I promise you that He still cares

‘Cause if He started this work in your life
He will be faithful to complete it
If only you believe it
He knows how much it hurts
And I’m sure that He’s gonna help you get through this

When the waves are taking you under
Hold on just a little bit longer
He knows that this is gonna make you stronger, stronger
The pain ain’t gonna last forever
In time it’s gonna get better
Believe me
This is gonna make you stronger


I’m not a Mandesa fan.. Go ahead and send the hate mail for those of you who like her ๐Ÿ˜‰ However the words of her songs are powerful! This one in particular. I was thinking of going with the Kelly Clarkson version of Stronger, but it had that whole line of “What doesn’t kil you”… Yeah trying to stay away from encouragement like that. ๐Ÿ˜‰

I felt inclined to come back and write again after my crusty attitude yesterday. I know that no one judges me because we all are allowed to have bad days. That was just one of them and I know I’ll have more, but I’ll try to keep my fingers away from the keyboard when those days arise again.

Today I wanted to share about my tube surgery. I’m not sure who all reads this or if any of you out in cyber world are dealing with this same thing. However I know that this is being read because I have a sidebar of stats and I tell you what folks, you must really love me! I have had almost 1000 views in a week! I’m bowing and thanking you for this humbling experience. I never thought writing about something like cancerย would make people want to read it. I hope I can keep this going and keep it informative and light hearted for you.

Thursday morning I had to be at the hospital at 8:30 and the surgery was supposed to start at 10:30. Well now we live in the real world so it started at noon. ๐Ÿ˜‰ I suffer from this awful thing called anxiety. I’m sure many of you have experienced it a time or 2. It’s not a very good feeling. When it was mentioned that I would have a local anesthetic and some sedative I was happy that I wasn’t going to have to be put completely under. (Read the blog from a few days ago and you will find out why) The thought of even the sedative made my heart beat faster then it should have. I finally told the Dr. right before I went in that I would love to just have the local. I’m pretty sure his eyes went crossed at me and he ask why. I told him I’m not a fan of feeling loopy or fuzzy. I like to have a clear head. He said that sure, but if at any time during the surgery I need something more to just let them know and he would make sure the sedative was injected into my IV.

I’m not sure about what you all believe, but I serve a BIG God! I knew He would help me! Ps 46:1-2 God is our refuge and strength, A very present help in trouble.ย  Therefore we will not fear!!! I also wrote my favorite bible verse on my arm that says the Lord has not given me a spirit of fear, but of power and love and of a strong mind! I laid on my stomach on that operating room full of people. ( Not and easy task when you are just in your skibbies and a open back gown. A little awkward if you ask me!) I put my arms on the table in front of me and read that verse over and over. The surgeon talked me through everything he was doing. I will admit the large needle full of lidocaine directly to the kidney did sting… a lot!! Other then that the only thing I felt was the pressure of the tube going in me.

After the surgery was over the Dr. leaned down and said Sarah, you did great. I have been doing this surgery for 15 years and you are the first person who has ever done it without the sedative. How do you do it? I looked him right in the eye and said I have God on my side! I can’t begin to tell you all the peace I felt in that room. God helped me focus and not fear. I was not trying to be super woman or be super courageous, I just didn’t want to feel out of sorts or dizzy. If I can keep a clear head about me then I will choose that!

The surgery was not bad, the recovery… not so great. When you are claustrophobic you really like to be out in fresh air and if you have to be inside then you like lots of windows and sunlight. Recovery room is not what I would call a happy place. It’s a large room with 6 beds in it and when they close the curtain around you then you find yourself in a 6×8 cell that quickly starts to close in on you. I tried closing my eyes and not thinking about it but that was not fixing it. I also was on strict bed rest for 4 hours so I couldn’t even go to the restroom! This is where the bedpan comes in. Second time in a week! I believe I set my own record. Have you ever tried to maneuver your very sore body connected to loads of wires and tubes onto a plastic tub that you are praying with hold you and praying you won’t spill it all over yourself? Not an easy task!

I tried to sleep, but that room gets more action than a bar girl on a Friday night! The best distraction that I had was the lower GI patients they kept wheeling beside me. God knows my sick sense of humor and I am so thankful that the curtain was closed. The noises that came out of these patients made me almost pop a stitch! Have you ever tried to laugh in a pillow after surgery? Next to impossible! Especially while your dear husband is trying to borrow your other pillow to try and hide his laughs. The distraction was awesome!

Finally after what seemed like years I was released to go home. Someone should have been taking a video of that one! Our roads are the worst roads east of the Mississippi! We are talking potholes the size of elephants! Ok maybe a little stretched, but you get the point. They don’t repave around her they just patch. We also have speed bumps in the middle of our interstates. It’s just a lot of fun and the mechanics around here are always busy and know that they will always have a steady income in these parts. ๐Ÿ˜‰

The recovery after that day has been good. Each day I feel a little better and the pain has been manageable. I just have to remember that I have this gosh darn bag! I told the nurses that I didn’t need the straps for it because I have a leg pistol holster that would work just as well, but they didn’t think that was practical. ๐Ÿ˜‰ It is a little annoying on the leg so when I get in bed I just randomly hang it on the handle on my nightstand. I get up to go pee and always forget I have it and Lord have mercy I pray I don’t rip this thing out of me before I get used to it! I have a great home health care nurse that is trying to teach me how to keep it clean and change bandages, but I feel kind of useless as I can’t reach it so she is teaching everyone else.

It will seriously be hard to disguise this thing with the wardrobe I have now so I am collecting gift cards to get yoga pants. ๐Ÿ˜‰ Kidding. I am hoping to hit up the thrift centers as I refuse to pay good money for a Walmart wardrobe that I will only be sporting for hopefully a couple of months. I just need to hide the outline of a large bag on my leg ๐Ÿ˜‰

This surgery was my big beginning step! After this I start chemo and radiation hopefully next week and the fight is on! God has got this and I am praying my crusty attitude doesn’t show through any more! Again I thank you for all the love and support that you all have shown myself and my family. We just keep shaking our heads and knowing that our God is so good!! He heals the broken hearted! This world is full of so much hurt and pain and regardless of my situation there is someone that is worse off then me. If that someone is you drop me a line and I would love to pray for you or even listen. Let me know!


Luke 1:37 For nothing is impossible with God!!


2 responses to “Laughter is the Best Medicine!!

  1. Melynda says:

    Sarah, as crafty as you are you should decorate your bag & pretend its an accessory! Just bedazzle it!! ๐Ÿ˜‰

  2. Cheryl Palomino says:

    I agree with Melynda. You can start your own Pinterest category. Whoo hoo! Also, please don’t hide the crusty stuff. We all love what you have to say regardless. If you hide the crusties, it’s just not being real.

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