that crazy cancer girl

My journey through cervical cancer

Where is your focus?

on October 11, 2013

Second grade… My teacher was Mrs. Scott. I had long strawberry blonde hair, cute dimples and freckles peppered across my nose. I sat near the back of the class. About mid year I started seeing things as though they were part of a impressionist painting. Nothing seemed to be clear and no amount of squinting or moving forward seemed to help.

A note was sent home to my parents that my grades were slipping and Mrs. Scott thought that my eyesight was the culprit. My mom took me to the eye Dr. and sure enough I needed glasses. 3 weeks later I walked back into Mrs. Scott’s classroom sporting a new pair of octagon tortoise shell glasses. Everyone turned around and busted out laughing. Suddenly with the name 4 eyes being thrown at me, the other name of carrot top didn’t seem so bad. 😉

Over the years the glasses have slowly been getting better, the eyesight not so much.

When I think about what I’m going through now I feel like maybe God is trying to adjust my eyesight. Have you ever been in a meeting or church (be honest) and someone is talking, but yet your eyes start to wonder and your focus shifts to whatever you are looking at? Suddenly you have phased out what you were supposed to be paying attention to and you have moved on to something else.

I’m not saying my relationship with God was lacking, nor am I saying that He gave me this awful disease. What I am saying is what if He is taking my current situation and using it to put more of my focus on Him.

Whether or not you are a Christian, who do you call on in times of trouble? Most everyone finds out how to pray when trouble comes. They go to God and beg Him and plead with Him for help. How would you feel if your parents or your kids only called on you when they needed you. I think that sure would be tough. I think that is what God feels like when we only come to Him in times of need instead of having a personal relationship with Him.

Every morning I pray before my feet hit the floor. I pray for friends and family, I pray for a good day, I pray for my kids and my husband. I pray for many needs, but I also take as much time to thank Him for all the blessings He has given me.

When I think of my current situation I think what if my focus was swaying? What if God is trying to draw me into a closer relationship with Him? I sure am doing a lot of “Help me Jesus” prayers lately. I know He will help me and although it seems repetitive, it helps me to know that I can call on Him when in need.  On the other hand though I am thanking Him for the friends and family supporting me, I’m thanking Him for letting them catch this before it got worse, I’m thanking Him for an amazing husband who is holding my hand through all of this and for 3 amazing, strong kids who want to help out any way they can. All these blessing far outweigh the negative in my life right now.

What is your current situation right now? Where is your focus? Whether you are looking through octagon tortoise shell glasses, contacts or good eyes, I pray you are focused on the blessings that God has given you. You may not think that anything good is going on in your life right now, but you are alive, you are breathing. You have a roof over your head and food in your stomach. Think of all the little things as these are the greatest blessings!!

1 Samuel 12:16
Now then, stand still and see this great thing the LORD is about to do before your eyes!


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