that crazy cancer girl

My journey through cervical cancer

I am Thankful

It’s been a few days since I have last blogged. I have been doing loads of stuff to prepare for tomorrow! All of my family is coming down to spend Thanksgiving together and I couldn’t be happier!! So it’s not that I haven’t wanted to write, I have just been busy preparing our little home for everyone!

This week has been very busy! Monday I completed my last chemo and I am so grateful that although thin, I still have my hair. I have met so many wonderful people and some of the best nurses you could imagine sitting in those recliners every week. They make you completely forget that you have poison being pumped into your body. Today I completed my last external radiation. My boys and hubby got to come in and see where I have been treated and then got to ring the bell with me when I was done. It really made me happy to have them with me. I wish my girly was there too, but she had to finish up some stuff in school before the holiday break.

The question now is where do I go from here? I would love to tell you I have some grand plan laid out, but I’m not sure where I will go from here. Next Monday I meet with the radiation Dr. to see what other options I have other then the brachytherapy they want me to do. Next Tuesday I have a nephrostagram scheduled to see if this tube can come out. I am supposed to hear from the hospital scheduler on Friday to see when I will get a MRI to see how much the tumor has shrunk after all the chemo and radiation. I keep praying that maybe God has heard my prayers and hundreds of others and has healed me completely. If He hasn’t though I will still continue to praise Him through this storm.

Today has been rough pain wise and I have no one to blame but myself. This morning I snagged my tube on the footboard of our bed and gave it a good tug. Then yesterday and today I had some soda which I haven’t had in ages and my right kidney is a very angry kidney tonight. To the point where I question whether I should go to the hospital or not. The pain is very intense! However I have waited so long for tomorrow with family that I will wait out the pain till Thanksgiving is over. Some may think that is stupid, but I refuse to spend another holiday in the hospital away from family. Needless to say I am downing water like it is going out of style and no more soda for this girl!! I am also praying that this tube is ready to come out so I can stop snagging it on everything! I so want to enjoy tomorrow with my family preferably pain free, so if any of you could throw out a extra prayer for me tonight then I would appreciate it so very much!

Today is 2 months since I found out about my cancer… I have to be honest, in that moment of hearing those words, I thought ahead and wondered if I would see Thanksgiving, if I would see Christmas or if I would even see another birthday. Tomorrow I will be ever so thankful to God for allowing me another Thanksgiving. We aren’t promised tomorrow. I could have cancer and be killed in a car accident or have a heart attack. We never know when we will take our last breath. I know though that when I do I will be in Heaven and will not be in pain anymore. Should God allow me to wake up tomorrow I will have so much to be thankful for.

I pray that wherever you are tomorrow and whoever you are with that you take the time to enjoy your time together. Put the phones away and be with the ones in front of you. Take time to be thankful for the little things all the way to the big things. I know that I will be blessed to be surrounded by my Dad, brother, sisters, brother in law and sister n law, nieces and nephews and my hubby and kiddos. Happy Thanksgiving to all of you and your families!

Psalm 95:1-6
“O come, let us sing unto the LORD: let us make a joyful noise to the rock of our salvation. Let us come before his presence with thanksgiving, and make a joyful noise unto him with psalms. For the LORD is a great God, and a great King above all gods. In his hand are the deep places of the earth: the strength of the hills is his also. The sea is his, and he made it: and his hands formed the dry land. O come, let us worship and bow down: let us kneel before the LORD our maker.”

 

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Frustrated, but Thankful

I love to write. There is a part of me that loves to put life into words and try to encourage others through my words. However tonight won’t be one of those times… Warning given. 😉

I will be honest, it has been rough these past couple of days. My blood count is still low after 2 blood transfusions and one iron infusion. I was given a bone marrow booster shot 2 days ago in hopes of bringing my levels up. If not then I will get yet another blood transfusion. I am thankful for those that donate blood and that it is available when I need it, but it is frustrating that I have to keep receiving someone else’s blood.

Yesterday I had to drive about an hour from my house to a hospital to meet what they call a Brachytherapy Dr. He is pretty much the only one in a 100 mile radius.

When my radiation Dr. explained to me that I would be having internal radiation and it wouldn’t be that big of a deal. She told me that if that didn’t work then I would have to be admitted to the hospital and go in the OR and have needles injected into me to receive radiation that way, but that would be the last resort… Well much to my surprise when I met the Dr yesterday that is exactly what he wants to do. He wants to admit me to the hospital for 2 days and if you want to stop reading now I am giving you a chance because this gets gross!

I will go in the OR and have implants and needles sewn inside me. I will be given a epidural that will last the entire 2 days I am admitted. A machine about 2 feet long will then be inserted and will stay there for the whole time. Then there will be a bigger machine that will implant little rice size pellets into me to carry the radiation. I will also have a square metal piece sewn on the outside of me to help guide all the machines…

Completely barbaric!! I have listened to what the Dr. has said and I have read as much as I can about it. I have decided that I will not do it. You all may think I am bowing out. That is not what I am doing. I will continue to fight through this with the best of my ability, but I can not and will not do that to myself. It is so bad that you can not have any type of relations for 6 + weeks after it is done because it screws you up that bad. I will be looking into other options and I know that is not what my Dr will want to hear come Monday when I meet with her. I can not believe that woman do this and they are ok with it.

After tossing and turning all night over this, I finally feel at peace over my decision. I know whatever God has in store will be ok for me. I don’t think this is part of His plan for me. I’m not sure who all reads this, but if you know of anyone that has gone through this procedure, I would love to hear from them!!

I try not to complain and I try to keep smiling through all of this, but I really have felt a lot of depression through these few days. I don’t understand where this is all coming from, but for the first time since all of this began, I actually feel like I am sick. I am looking forward to Thanksgiving and relying heavily on feeling happiness as my whole family will be driving down here including my Daddy!! This will be the first time my family has been together in a few years. All my sisters and brother and spouses, nieces and nephews. I seriously can not wait to have everyone together. I’m praying that God will lift my spirits and we can all enjoy a wonderful Thanksgiving together.

If I were to be thankful for one thing this year… Mom was the glue that held us together. When she passed it seemed we all kind of fell apart from each other. Sure we talked on occasion, but it wasn’t much. Since I found out I have cancer the relationship with my brother and sisters has been AMAZING!! We have come back together and it has made my heart so happy. If this is the only good thing that comes out of my sickness then it was worth every painful moment to have my family back together again! I am so very thankful for my family!!

I know this has been all over the place tonight, but sometimes I just need to lay out how I am feeling. Since Thanksgiving is coming up, I would love to hear what you are thankful for this year. It only takes a second to leave a comment in the comment section. Or if you are thankful for more then one thing, write it out. I would love to read it!

1 Chronicles 16:34  Give thanks to the LORD, for he is good; his love endures forever

 

 

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Specifics

Many people have ask me over the past month and a half, “How can I pray for you Sarah?” Tonight I will share with you how you can. 😉

I have told many of you and have shared on here that I have a nephrostomy tube. For those of you who don’t know what that is, it’s a tube that was placed directly into my kidney because the tumor was so big it was pressing against my ureter causing my right kidney to shut down. I have reluctantly worn this thing and I will admit I have complained… a lot over it. It got so bad after the home health care nurse yanked on it that I had to go back in the OR and have a new one put in.  It quite literally has been a pain in my side.

A few weeks ago when I was put in the hospital because the chemo had put me in kidney failure, they had talked of putting a stint in my left side to protect that kidney. However the oncologist switched my chemo and all has been well on the kidney front. My creatinine levels have been perfect, I have had no kidney pain whatsoever.

The oncologist wants to puts me back on the chemo that shut down my kidneys and is still pushing for that stint that I believe I do not need. Of course no one wants to go under the knife for something they don’t need. Now the surgery I would love is for them to do is take this nephrostomy tube out. I believe the tumor has started to shrink off that ureter because there is not that much in the bag anymore. I know gross, but it’s my life right now.

They have me scheduled on the 25th of this month to get a stint put in my left side, when you pray here are the specifics…

-Pray that the tumor has shrunk enough for them to take out the tube

-Pray that they won’t have to put the stint in the left side

-Pray that the DR will keep me on the chemo that I am on right now that doesn’t hurt my kidneys

-Pray that my kidneys will continue to function and my creatinine levels will stay perfect!

 

I can’t thank you enough for all your prayers. God has truly blessed me with an amazing support group and that includes YOU!!

Philippians 1:3  I thank my God every time I remember you

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CHOOSE JOY!!

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Her name was Sara and she was amazingly beautiful both on the inside and the out. She suffered from a disease called Ankylosing Spondylitis. The basic explanation is that it is an autoimmune disease that usually starts in your early twenties and begins by attacking your joints. It is progressive and systemic, but the progression and systems it can affect are as different as your genetic make up. For Sara, it began in her sacrum (low back) and her spine. The “goal” of the disease is to attack the joint and build scar tissue around it, causing pain and stiffness. Then the scar tissue eventually (for many) turns into bone and fuses your joints together. Until recently, most doctors believed that AS was a man’s
disease and was rarely seen in women. It is now known that it is prevalent in women as well, and they are learning the progression, symptoms and x-ray findings can be
significantly different in women than men, which will hopefully be helpful in future diagnosis.

This awful disease put Sara in bed for the last few years of her life until God decided to call her home 2 years ago. I never met Sara, but her online friendship meant the world to me. I don’t think she realized the impact she had on so many people. Her goal in life was to choose joy. Although sick and in bed dying from this disease. She was never married or had kids. As some would look at her and think that poor woman being all alone. Sara was never alone. Her little apartment screamed inspiration. On every wall and every workspace were words of inspiration and the ones that stood out most were the words, Choose Joy. She always choose joy and even in her journey she would find comforting words to try and help someone else because she would always say, “it’s not about her, but about Him”.

I believe God places these people in my life for a purpose. I didn’t know that years later I would have cancer. I could look at this and be angry and complain and focus on the chaos. However by knowing people like Sara, I look at my journey as a way to help others. I can’t tell you the countless people that I have been able to witness to through this. Doctors and nurses, people in stores and anyone that will listen, I have shared God with them. Because it isn’t about me, it’s about God! He is using this for a reason and I need to look at it as an opportunity to choose joy.

Other then feeling so very tired all the time and feeling puky here and there I can’t complain how I feel. I ask D the other night “when do you think the bottom will fall out? When do you think I will really start to feel bad?” Regardless of whether that happens or not, I believe God is helping me through this and I am choosing joy! I have taken Sara’s theme years ago and made it into my theme. I can’t think of a better one. Life can be so tough and when it is it’s so easy to turn your back on God and blame Him for life gone wrong. Or you can thank Him for the blessings you still have and ask Him to help you through whatever you are facing. Remember that there is always someone else worse off then you. As tough as it is right now, I thank God for what I am going through because it is opening so many doors to introduce others to Him! Remember the key word is not joy, it’s CHOOSE!!!

James1:2-3, Jesus says, “Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever
you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith
produces perseverance.”

 

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Are you Prepared for a Storm?

We live in Virginia beach. It’s about 5 minutes to the bay and about 10 minutes to the ocean front. We have been here 14 years and have loved every moment of what this area has to offer. One of the things that it does offer that isn’t really a perk is erosion. Every storm, every wave, even the soil has part of this thing called erosion. In the years that we have been here I can’t tell you the countless times we have watched the big rigs out in the water pump more sand on the beaches to recreate what the storms had washed away.

Webster’s dictionary says that to erode is to “eat into or away; destroy by slow consumption or disintegration; synonym: grind” and the origin of the word means “to gnaw.”

When I found out I had cancer I slowly felt that it was an erosion of my soul. This disease is in me and it is slowly trying to destroy me and gnawing away at the good parts of me. It has been a constant wearing away of joy, peace and energy and sometimes there seems to be more of it all at once wearing you down, gnawing at your energy, your contentment, your peace…not soil erosion, soul erosion.

Around here we deal with hurricanes. Since we have been here there really hasn’t been a major hurricanes. Of course though we and so many others prepare. We board up windows and prepare generators, check batteries in flashlights, and start gathering water bottles. Even though we are thankful the hurricanes have never been major, we are glad we were prepared for the “just in case”. We are the same when it comes to hurricanes of our souls. We immediately go into crisis mode. As a Christian, you fall to your knees and  focus on Christ, the Center of your ultimate existence, the Creator of your life, the One who holds your plan in His heart and hands. It becomes easy to focus on Him, because to focus anywhere else allows you to see the enemy of destruction beating at your door. For me, this hurricane is stage 3 cervical cancer.

I am focused on one thing through this hurricane, beating death and finding life!! It is necessary when fighting such a powerful enemy.

Around here to help prevent the erosion we use these orange netted fences or pole and wire fences. You see them lining beaches and dunes and around homes. It is our way of helping the sand to stay put during storms. For a Christian going through these storms the “fence” is prayer. I must pray non stop to the only one who will give me joy, who will take away my fear of storms in my life. I must read my bible and fill my thoughts with things of God and healing, love and joy. This is the only way that I can fight through these storms and continue on this path with fences around me to prevent any more erosion of my soul. I know many of you are places your fences of prayer around me and I am feeling those prayers. God is giving me back my joy and peace. I am going to make it and I will do my best to smile through it all. Thank you Jesus for this life you have blessed me with!

“The seas have lifted up, O LORD, the seas have lifted up their voice; the seas have lifted up their pounding waves. Mightier than the thunder of the great waters, mightier than the breakers of the sea—the LORD on high is mighty” Psalm 93:3-4

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Breathe…..

I look through a cracked mirror everyday… I have been meaning to replace it, but it hasn’t been on the top of my priority list.

When I look in that mirror I feel so disconnected from who is looking back at me. Oh She’s cute and fun and always the life of the party… However right now I am not feeling so confident.

I feel like a different girl.

Nothing has happened. I’m wearing the same clothes, I still have the same wonderful circle of friends, I haven’t been smacked in the back of the head or anything. But my mind has turned against me and become my enemy.

There is a constant stream of lies flowing… about my body, my face, my future, my friends. You name it, the lie is crossing across the ticker of my mind.

Every woman deals with the questions of, Am I pretty enough, am I skinny enough, am I tall enough? So many questions and yet we never have received the answer.

I have always been the tall girl. Every class picture, every sports picture I have always been in the back middle. I have crazy, curly, thick hair and freckles that pepper my face during the summer. I have never considered myself beautiful, but I have settled with pretty. My hair has always been my thing though. My sisters have always been the beautiful ones in my eyes, but it feels so good when they tell me that I got the best hair. 😉 It makes me happy to be recognized for something of beauty.

This week I am facing a new chemo. The Dr. has decided not to give me the other one since it shut down my kidneys so fast. He warned me that this chemo will make me very sick and I will very quickly lose my hair. Like within 2 weeks…  At first I thought, it’s just hair, it will grow back. However the more I thought about it I really got upset. You see right now I don’t even feel pretty. I have tubes hanging out of my body, I can’t even take a proper shower, My skin is not looking very pretty with it’s red patches and breakouts from the medication. I don’t always shave my legs everyday anymore because it is a serious chore. I just don’t feel pretty, but when I fix my hair and put on a little makeup, I feel like I am almost there. The thought of losing what I think is the only pretty thing left on me is getting to me.

All these thoughts are lies from satan himself. I have to remember who I am, who loves me, what I’m worth, and how carefully God made me. There is a old song called, “Just Breathe”. When I think of all the unpretty things about myself, I sit still and I make myself take in a few good deep breaths because this is not forever and I know that even when I think I can’t deal anymore, God takes over for me till I can get my strength back.

I know some of you may think this is silly to get upset over losing hair, but it even says in the bible that a woman’s hair is her glory. This is a scary thing for me to face, but I will keep breathing. I have a long journey ahead of me and I won’t give up. Just because I’m fighting doesn’t mean I’m losing.

All that I know is I’m breathing.

All I can do is keep breathing.

 

 

 

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What’s your Season?

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Anyone who truly knows me, knows that summer is my “alive” time. I  am more excited than the kids when school finally lets out. The late nights, the sleep in mornings, no homework and endless days at the beach listening to the waves, hearing my babies running around and laughing, surf fishing in the evenings and breath taking sunsets over the water. It’s a season that has never failed to provide me with memories upon memories. I just feel so alive in the summer. It seems that life is at it’s fullest in the summer. The colors are vibrant from flowers to clothing and the trees are at there full potential and everyone just seems happier to me.

I know so many that can’t wait for fall simply because of the color of leaves, sweaters and pumpkin everything! However to me it’s always been a sad time. Fall and winter indicate to me that life is ending. Not in the extreme you might think I’m saying, but the trees are losing there leaves, flowers are dying off, grass is turning brown. It’s getting colder and it’s dark before 5pm… I’m going to have to stop or I might need a nerve pill! 😉

I think just like the seasons of nature, we experience seasons of life. My season right now has me feeling as void of color as winter. It’s a season that I always thought would never happen to me. I thought maybe it would skip me and go to someone else. God certainly wouldn’t give me that kind of season because He of course knows I wouldn’t be able to handle it… Here I am in that season.

I think about the next holiday coming up, you know that one hidden between Halloween and Christmas that is far to often forgotten about. Thanksgiving! It’s a time to be thankful. Even in my situation I have SO much to be thankful for. Not just on Thanksgiving, but everyday. It’s what I think about when I am in pain or going through treatment or when Debbie downer puts Susie sunshine in a chokehold. I thank God for things to get my mind back on the right track. I thank Him for family and friends and health. Yes health. I’m still 6 feet above ground so I have to be thankful for that!

I can’t let the season I am in steal the joys that are waiting for me. I can’t dwell on the past and I can’t think of the future. I have to enjoy the season I am in right now. I believe God is stretching me and wanting me to grow through this. Just like a kid being challenged in school though, it’s not always fun and just like the old hymn we sometimes want to sing, “I shall not be moved”! It’s tough to break out of my comfort zone. Through every trial and every situation, God is preparing me for His work.

What is your season in life like? Are you being pushed out of your comfort zone? Are you experiencing joys or trials? Just remember there is still beauty in falling leaves and still a brightness that falls with snow. We have to look for the joy in any season!

 

Ecclesiastes 3:1-4

For everything there is a season, a time for every activity under heaven.
A time to be born and a time to die. A time to plant and a time to harvest.
A time to kill and a time to heal. A time to tear down and a time to build up.
A time to cry and a time to laugh. A time to grieve and a time to dance.

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The Life of a Drip…

Well here I sit.. again. I feel like I am constantly being hooked up to something! This week it’s iron. It’s going to give me super powers, I’m sure of it. You people go to your gyms and pump iron. I just need to sit in a chair and have it injected. 😉

I just got done seeing the Dr. and it looks like by the end of the week Mrs. Tubealot will have grown. I will either be getting a stint in my left kidney or a tube put it. This is not good news to me. I am trying to avoid any more holes in my skin! I’m starting to feel like some of those teenagers that put holes in there body on purpose! I still shake my head as to why they do that, but to each his own.

God will open that window. I know He will, but it looks like it will take some more time of me having patience. That of course has not ever been a virtue of mine. My dear Mother used to sing a song to me and it went like this…

 

Have patience, have patience, don’t be in such a hurry,

when you get impatient, you always start to worry

remember, remember that God is patient too and

think of all the times when others had to wait on you

 

Every time someone even mentions the word patience, that song runs through my head. Maybe God is trying to teach me more of it through all of this. I sure am trying. I am also realizing that I can’t fix it, I can’t kiss the boo boo and make it go away. I have no control over my situation whatsoever!! This my friends is VERY hard for me!! Not saying I normally like to be in complete control of E V E R Y T H I N G, but a lot of things I will admit I like to have the upper hand. God knows exactly what he is doing in the big things and teaching me the small things. Like patience… and more patience. 😉

I certainly am not looking forward to going under the knife for the 4th time in a month. 5th if you count the tube they just had to replace while I was in the hospital last week. Since I cannot continue with the chemo for now I will start a new radiation this evening. What they are telling me is a more invasive radiation.

Not sure exactly what that means until I go through it. Someone told me the other week that this is quite the ride… I don’t like this ride and I want my money back!! Refund? Anyone? 😉 I won’t lie it’s been tough. I have to keep my chin up. I have to quit having so many Debby downer days. I will never make it if I don’t. I am still loving all the prayers and encouragement. I can’t thank you enough!

 

Nehemiah 8:10 … The joy of the Lord is my strength

 

 

 

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Broken…

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Do you ever feel broken? Not just a little
scrape in the skin, but a wide open wound that never seems as though it will
heal?

This past month has been hard… after Dr. visits and different drugs and hospital visits and diagnosis I didn’t want to hear. All of it has left me feeling broken.

Some days when I wake up I open my eyes and for a split second I feel awesome!! I feel as though I can face the world with my red cape flying behind me. That feeling is quickly stolen as soon as I sit up and the pain and the thought process is there. It’s enough to rip the spirit right out of someone.

I try not to question God. Now I just wake up and the first words I say are, “It’s a beautiful day and thank you God for your healing”.
This has become a ritual for me. Some days there is more feeling put into that phrase then others, but I know God understands how I feel.

The picture that I added in here is one I took down at the bay years ago. These pilings made me think. In a way (a far out way, but stick with me) we are like
these pilings. We are all different, some are strong, some are weak, some are broken. However when we stand together and pray for each other we can help hold
up that one or two broken ones.

I have many friends that call me and say, I need prayer for this or prayer for that. I have no problem praying for my friends because it makes me feel good
that regardless of how I act or what I say somewhere my friends have seen in me a small glimpse of Christianity. Enough to call and say Sarah can you please
pray for me.

Tonight I am that broken piling… tonight I covet your prayers. Whether you are a regular prayer warrior or one that randomly talks to God, I need your
prayers tonight….  The long road ahead of me looks so scary. I try and have a positive attitude through all of this, but this week has left me broken. Still praying for God to open that window. Thank you for your prayers!

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Inflatings beds, New tubes and Thank you’s!

Well I am still here and in hopes that you are too! 😉 A lot of my Facebook friends already know a lot of this info so if you do then just skip to the good parts. 😉

Tuesday while getting my blood transfusion (that didn’t work, I’ll fill you in later) my Dr. called me and told me that my creatinine levels were severely high and as soon as I was done with the transfusion I needed to go directly to the ER. I told them I felt fine and what the heck was a creatinine level??

She explained how it was a crucial level of how the kidneys filter things through the body and mine was not doing any of that. Another words I was in acute renal failure. I went to the ER and then was transported to a different hospital that was better equipped to handle my situation. Then the terrible “A” word was thrown at me! You are being admitted! Really? Again, I feel fine. This is totally unnecessary. (obviously I need to start learning my levels as this is a quite serious situation)

Lots of ultrasounds and testing done they realized that the chemo I was given last week should have never been given to me in the first place. It is known to shut down sensitive kidneys, which I obviously have. So here I sit in a bed that won’t stop self inflating itself for the 3rd blessed day in a row. It of course has been 3 beautiful days outside. As a windows always open, fresh air person, this has not been easy for me. I begged and pleaded with the Dr’s to allow me to leave today as I have never missed Halloween with my kiddos before. Two Dr’s agreed to let me go home and one said “Nope, not a good idea”. I understand the seriousness of the situation, but I can sit here in the hospital and continue wracking up thousands of dollars in bills or I can go home to my own bed and actually get some rest. Either way I am just sitting.

I have had radiation while I have been here so I’m not missing on that. The nurses have been AMAZING and funny and I really have had a great time with them. I try and laugh and joke about everything so I guess you could say I have been the comic relief of the cancer floor. 😉 I have been having loads of pain though. Not sure if the tumor is growing or shrinking but the pains of waking up in the middle of the night feeling like I’m giving birth to a 10lb kid with no drugs is getting old. I’m praying that is short lived because the drugs they give here are terrible! 😉

Today I had the tube in my back replaced as a bad home care nurse had given it a good yank after the first week I had it. Since then I have had non stop trouble and issues with it and felt the need to donate it at a few points because the pain was unbearable. Come to find out it was hanging out more then double what it should have been. Although still in the kidney it was pulling really bad on the kidney. It felt great to have that replaced and I don’t even realize it is there now. That is my blessing for the day. I am trying to find blessings each day to keep my anxiety from getting away with me.

My dear sister Laura came down last night to stay till Saturday with me and we have been having the best of times. She has let me cry, we have laughed and she even washed my old nasty hair that is seriously thinning now. She bought my some skin caps to hide this bald mess when need be. It’s great to have wonderful siblings in my life.

The cards and the blessings keep rolling in and I don’t even know how to thank anymore. I feel like a broken record because all I say anymore is thank you, thank you, thank you. It’s 2 of the most amazing words in the dictionary. THANK YOU!!! Everyone of you mean the world to me and I know that you are what is keeping me going. Your kind words, your visits, your baked goods, your meals, your money gifts to help pay the stack of medical bills that are rolling in, your gift cards for yummy pumpkin spice lattes, your flowers and candy and so much more. I just sit and I cry and I say thank you… You will never know how many times D and I sit in amazement and thank God for so many blessings and such an amazing support system that is surrounding us in prayers and love. As hard as it may be to believe you have rendered us speechless! I know it’s hard to believe 😉

My inlaws are safely back in the area! Thank you for your prayers for traveling mercies for them. I know a great weight has been lifted off my sweet husbands back as he has been running around by himself trying to get the kids from point A to point B everyday. It will be so wonderful to have them with us this winter and to have the kids get to know their grandparents better. Thank you Paul and Kathi for everything you are doing for us!!

I know this is long and I just wanted to update you all on what is going on in my world lately. Still continue to pray that God uses this for good! All this pain, all this bad news, time and time again… It has to be used for good. I love you all!!

Romans 8:28     And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose

 

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