that crazy cancer girl

My journey through cervical cancer

Broken…

on November 4, 2013

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Do you ever feel broken? Not just a little
scrape in the skin, but a wide open wound that never seems as though it will
heal?

This past month has been hard… after Dr. visits and different drugs and hospital visits and diagnosis I didn’t want to hear. All of it has left me feeling broken.

Some days when I wake up I open my eyes and for a split second I feel awesome!! I feel as though I can face the world with my red cape flying behind me. That feeling is quickly stolen as soon as I sit up and the pain and the thought process is there. It’s enough to rip the spirit right out of someone.

I try not to question God. Now I just wake up and the first words I say are, “It’s a beautiful day and thank you God for your healing”.
This has become a ritual for me. Some days there is more feeling put into that phrase then others, but I know God understands how I feel.

The picture that I added in here is one I took down at the bay years ago. These pilings made me think. In a way (a far out way, but stick with me) we are like
these pilings. We are all different, some are strong, some are weak, some are broken. However when we stand together and pray for each other we can help hold
up that one or two broken ones.

I have many friends that call me and say, I need prayer for this or prayer for that. I have no problem praying for my friends because it makes me feel good
that regardless of how I act or what I say somewhere my friends have seen in me a small glimpse of Christianity. Enough to call and say Sarah can you please
pray for me.

Tonight I am that broken piling… tonight I covet your prayers. Whether you are a regular prayer warrior or one that randomly talks to God, I need your
prayers tonight….  The long road ahead of me looks so scary. I try and have a positive attitude through all of this, but this week has left me broken. Still praying for God to open that window. Thank you for your prayers!

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4 responses to “Broken…

  1. Kim says:

    Sarah. I am praying for you. Your blog has been such a encouragement to me. So know that, even in your pain you are being an encouragment to others. You are amazing. I love you.

  2. Judy Englert says:

    Sarah, we continue to pray for you and your family daily. May God give you the strength to face each day. God bless you and hold you in the palm of his hand as you journey down this path to complete healing.God is good!!

  3. Lisa says:

    God of healing, I lift your daughter Sarah to your loving arms and pray your spirit rest over her. Surround her, Holy One, with your peace. Compassionate Lord, right now this daughter of yours feels broken, her body and mind are tired and her spirit needs renewal…..heal her Oh Lord in these places as by your will. This night, grant her rest ~ I pray that by your hand you stay the pain from her body that she may be renewed in her sleep to awaken tomorrow with renewed strength to walk this journey before her. I lift Lord to you her family also ~ I pray you give them spiritual, emotional, and physical strength to continue to hold Sarah and minister to her as only they can ~~ Gracious God, I pray your spirit rain over that house and that all within know your spirit and your blessings. Amen ❤

  4. Loretta Lamas Ebel says:

    Sarah, you don’t know us but we have been praying for you. We will continue to pray for you throughout this process…. Our boys went to school with your hubby and we had many fun/happy memories with his family during their high school years… Please know that you (and your family) are in our prayers. We pray for you daily during our morning prayers at breakfast…. Please keep us updated……

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