that crazy cancer girl

My journey through cervical cancer

Are you Prepared for a Storm?

on November 13, 2013

We live in Virginia beach. It’s about 5 minutes to the bay and about 10 minutes to the ocean front. We have been here 14 years and have loved every moment of what this area has to offer. One of the things that it does offer that isn’t really a perk is erosion. Every storm, every wave, even the soil has part of this thing called erosion. In the years that we have been here I can’t tell you the countless times we have watched the big rigs out in the water pump more sand on the beaches to recreate what the storms had washed away.

Webster’s dictionary says that to erode is to “eat into or away; destroy by slow consumption or disintegration; synonym: grind” and the origin of the word means “to gnaw.”

When I found out I had cancer I slowly felt that it was an erosion of my soul. This disease is in me and it is slowly trying to destroy me and gnawing away at the good parts of me. It has been a constant wearing away of joy, peace and energy and sometimes there seems to be more of it all at once wearing you down, gnawing at your energy, your contentment, your peace…not soil erosion, soul erosion.

Around here we deal with hurricanes. Since we have been here there really hasn’t been a major hurricanes. Of course though we and so many others prepare. We board up windows and prepare generators, check batteries in flashlights, and start gathering water bottles. Even though we are thankful the hurricanes have never been major, we are glad we were prepared for the “just in case”. We are the same when it comes to hurricanes of our souls. We immediately go into crisis mode. As a Christian, you fall to your knees and  focus on Christ, the Center of your ultimate existence, the Creator of your life, the One who holds your plan in His heart and hands. It becomes easy to focus on Him, because to focus anywhere else allows you to see the enemy of destruction beating at your door. For me, this hurricane is stage 3 cervical cancer.

I am focused on one thing through this hurricane, beating death and finding life!! It is necessary when fighting such a powerful enemy.

Around here to help prevent the erosion we use these orange netted fences or pole and wire fences. You see them lining beaches and dunes and around homes. It is our way of helping the sand to stay put during storms. For a Christian going through these storms the “fence” is prayer. I must pray non stop to the only one who will give me joy, who will take away my fear of storms in my life. I must read my bible and fill my thoughts with things of God and healing, love and joy. This is the only way that I can fight through these storms and continue on this path with fences around me to prevent any more erosion of my soul. I know many of you are places your fences of prayer around me and I am feeling those prayers. God is giving me back my joy and peace. I am going to make it and I will do my best to smile through it all. Thank you Jesus for this life you have blessed me with!

“The seas have lifted up, O LORD, the seas have lifted up their voice; the seas have lifted up their pounding waves. Mightier than the thunder of the great waters, mightier than the breakers of the sea—the LORD on high is mighty” Psalm 93:3-4

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