that crazy cancer girl

My journey through cervical cancer

Put up your Dukes!!

on January 12, 2014

pink-boxing-gloves

One of my best friends in elementary school was Nikki U. We spent many nights at each others houses, played sports together and pretty much spent a lot of time with each other. One particular sunny day my Mama and her Grandma were helping out at the school yard sale. Her Grandma’s car was parked in the grass near the tables and Nikki and I thought it would be a hoot to slide down the front of the windshield on our bellies and down the front hood to the ground. It was all fun and games until of course you guessed it, I got hurt. Somehow my shin got caught on the license and tore my leg wide open and quite deep.

I ran over to my Mama and she was helping someone out and I said Mommy, Mommy I need help. She didn’t look at me and said hold on honey. It wasn’t until I looked down and saw the amount of blood running down my leg that I screamed at the top of my lungs to get her attention. She looked at me and quickly grabbed a shirt off the table to wrap around my leg. (I still remember it being a really awesome bright yellow Cabbage Patch Doll shirt which I sported after she got all the blood stains out. 😉 )

She rushed me to the hospital and I ended up with 11 stitches in my shin. I thought it was pretty awesome as it was the perfect shaped V. Back in the 80’s everyone was watching the latest and greatest show called “The Visitor’s”. When I went back to school all the kids thought I was branded by “The Visitors” and let’s just say I felt pretty cool for awhile with my branded shin.

I thought back then that I could never experience that kind of pain again. It was at the top of my little girl brain as being just plain horrific. Little did I know what life had in store for me.

This past week I can only describe as pure Hell. In my adult girl brain this has topped any kind of pain I have ever felt. Childbirth, knee surgeries, ruptured appendix and so much more has been an absolute breeze compared to this. The healing is taking a lot longer then I want it to be. I can say that Bed rest is for the birds. I tried to be a good patient, but when you are in the same room for a few days, the walls start to close in on you and you feel like you can’t breathe. Eventually I had to break all the rules and get out. I went for short little rides here and there with Darin and tried to get back to “normal” as much as possible… And I paid for it dearly! Every time I tried, “normal” would place me right back in bed with pain meds and tears.

Today I refinished a chaise lounge and even though I was sitting on the floor for most of it, I am now back in bed with pain meds and tears. Stubborn has been a word to describe me for most of my life. ( I do believe it is hereditary as my Dad is quite stubborn 😉 ) However that stubborn word has another meaning to me. Fighter… I am a fighter. I can lay back and let this disease take over, but I am fighting. I am being stubborn and not letting the Dr’s outcomes determine my future.

I have 6 weeks to wait to see if this surgery worked. I am fighting for all I’m worth every day to get back to normal. I might get tired a lot quicker and I might not have the spunk I usually have, but don’t let that fool you, I am fighting every step of the way.

I have felt your prayers, I have appreciated the gifts, I have loved the dinners and the visits! Without you all I may not have so much fight. I can’t thank you enough for all you have done. What about you though, what are you fighting for tonight? Your children? Your marriage? Your life? I pray that whatever it is that God will hold your hand through it and will give you the strength to continue on your journey. We all have a story, but it’s up to you how you will tell it!

1 Timothy 6:12  Fight the good fight of the faith. Take hold of the eternal life to which you were called when you made your good confession in the presence of many witnesses.

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