that crazy cancer girl

My journey through cervical cancer

Mama, it Hurts!!

on February 13, 2014



I’m pretty sure the neighbor girl was out to get rid of me. She was the same age as my sister Laura and I so wanted to be part of the “older” crowd so I was the annoying tag-a-long little sister. The neighbors had a pool and I remember one afternoon swimming the neighbor girl thought it would be fun to have me swim between her and Laura’s legs like I was going through a tunnel. The second pass through I felt her reach down and hold me under the water. After about a minute or so of fighting she finally let me up. I was choking and crying and she said, “your a baby, I was just playing”. Well if you call playing drowning a kid then by all means, have your fun!.. I may still be a bit bitter over it. 😉

When I was 6 my dad finally took the training wheels off of my bike. He took me to the top of the hill and the neighbor girl was also there while everyone was riding their bikes. I got on that banana seat with the extra high sissy bar in the back and made sure my baseball card was adjusted just right so I could hear it flick the spokes the whole way down the road. Of course you never heard of bike helmets back in the early 80’s so I was truly a daredevil! I had my STP racing team sticker attached to my overly large handle bars and I was ready for action. Just as I put my feet up on those petals I felt a huge push from behind. I took off wobbly as ever and tried to gain control, but I was all over that road like it was covered with ice. Then it happened, I was out of control and hanging on for dear life I rolled over and over. If I was going down that bike was going with me! I went all the way to the bottom of the hill and just laid there. I remember the beautiful blue sky and the birds singing, was I dead?

All of a sudden I felt the pain. It hurt from one end to the next. My Daddy came down and scooped me up in those big giant arms and I remember him yelling at the neighbor girl. Apparently that giant push I felt was from her. That would be the second time she tried to out me. 😉 My Daddy rushed me inside and set me up on that old porcelain sink and yelled for Mom to come and bring some band aids. Mom came running in the kitchen and gasped at the sight of me. She told Dad to go get the merthiolate. If you don’t know what that is, ask your parents. 😉 I’m going to stop here and tell you that my sweet Mama thought Merthiolate was the answer to all ailments. Oh you have a headache? Let me put some Merthiolate on your temples. Oh a hang nail? Get the Merthiolate. You poor thing you stubbed you toe and it might be broken? Get the Merthiolate. No lie, it cured everything and burned like someone set you on fire!

I remember her putting it on all of our boo boo’s and she would blow really quick and that red iodine would rush across our skin and make some pretty cool splattered patterns. I recovered from that accident and many more. Every time though that I was hurt, Mama would be right there to apply the ever healing Merthiolate.

I can’t tell you how much I wish Mom was here right now. I would let her poor that stuff all over me to heal the hurt, to heal the pain, to heal the fear and to hold me tight. If only it was that easy… I know she is in Heaven interceding for me.

If you knew my Mama then you were surely blessed. She illuminated beauty inside and out! She never had a cross word for anyone, although that memory of my sister Becky and I not cleaning our room and there may have been a metal hanger involved, but that’s a whole other story. 😉 She loved you regardless of your background. She had the patience of Jesus Himself and had this direct connect to God that never failed.

I can’t tell you the countless times I called her for her to pray about this or that and before we even hung up the phone most of the time that prayer had been answered. I believe she was put on this earth to be a blessing and if you were to see the amount of people at her funeral then I believe that goal was accomplished.

It took about 2 years after she passed for me to stop picking up the phone to call her and tell her about something cute the kids did or a prayer request I had or just to simply hear her voice. Countless times over the past 5 months that urgency to hear her voice has been so hard! I have cried wishing that I could go see her and have her put Merthiolate on this giant wound in my body and pray over me to be healed.

But she isn’t here and I have to wait on God and rely on God to heal this hurt. It has been a tough week with this new radiation and it usually hits me in the evenings how so. very. tired. I am! Wouldn’t it be so wonderful if God were to reach down right now and heal me? Who knows He still could, but for now I will wait. I am trying to have the spirit of my Mama, the spirit of peace, the spirit of patience, the spirit of waiting quietly for God to do His work in me. I don’t want to complain or be ungrateful because I know God is doing something huge in me! He is using me as a vessel for Him and I am excited to see how this will turn out!

I may not have my Mom or methiolate to fix this, but I have God and I think that is the BEST! What do you need fixed in your life tonight? Is it something simple that medicine can fix or is it a deep hurt or wound that only God can heal? Reach out for Him and ask Him to help you. I can promise you it won’t happen in your time, but He has a plan and it will happen in His time!

Isaiah 40:31   But they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint.


One response to “Mama, it Hurts!!

  1. Sharon Albright says:

    Your mother, my dear friend. I can “see” her in your writings. You are loved.

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