that crazy cancer girl

My journey through cervical cancer

The Waiting Game

on February 16, 2014

Waiting_For_You_by_jjap

 

Well, I still know my name… I finished the second go round of radiation treatments. If you read regularly, you would have remembered my Dr. telling me that this round of radiation would kick my butt and I probably won’t know my name by the end of the week. Well that’s the good part about being a scrapper all my life, I don’t let things kick my butt! However I am so tired that I feel like I have gone a few rounds. 😉 It was a tough week and I am glad that it is over!

My Dr. sat down with me yesterday and said this is where patience comes into play. I have to wait… I tried to let her know that patience was not a virtue that was planted in me. Now Mama, she would give Job a run for his money with her patience, however it must skip a generation because this girl has not one ounce of patience! I have to wait an entire month before seeing the Dr. again. We have to wait to see if the surgery and radiation has shrunk this massive tumor inside my body. She finally showed me the MRI scan that I had done in Dec. It was the first time I actually got a good close up view of the tumor… I almost cried at the sight of it. It’s hard to believe something that big can be in my body.

I thought, will I ever be cancer free or even if it shrinks, will it still be inside me laying dormant? I’m scared and I am allowing myself to be scared. I have fought hard through surgeries and treatments and procedures, mostly with a smile, but it’s getting scary. The thought of not seeing a Dr. for an entire month scares me! When the past 5 months have been weekly if not every other day visits with Dr’s.

With God’s help I will wait and I will pray every day for God to work in my body to heal me and to shrink this tumor. Wouldn’t it be wonderful when I have that PET scan that the Dr. would see no trace of cancer? Oh what a testimony that would be knowing without question that God has worked a miracle in my life! Whatever outcome God chooses for me, I will praise Him because I know that my plans are never His plans. I will continue to live this wonderful life I have been blessed with for as long as I am allowed. I will continue to laugh, smile and make jokes with everyone I come in contact with because that’s who I am. I find when I laugh I feel so much better! I will still have depressing days, but I won’t stay there!

Are you waiting for something? Waiting on God? A spouse? A child? A Job? So many things in life that we wait for and the patience can be so hard especially in certain circumstances. God wants us to put our trust in Him. He knows our future and we have to praise Him through the good and the bad! Thank Him today for all that He has blessed you with.

Psalms 27:13-14  I believe that I shall look upon the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living! Wait for the Lord; be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the Lord!

Advertisements

2 responses to “The Waiting Game

  1. Anonymous says:

    Oh girl, you are so good. Your Mamma taught you right. Praying as hard as I can for you & that the cancer & that tumor will be gone. I can just hear you traveling & especially to ladies group with your testimony of healing. Oh God, I know you hear my prayers & see my hearts’ cry, please heal Sarah in Jesus Name. Amen.

  2. Sharon Albright says:

    Sarah, I praise our Lord as I sit here sending you this note. Your words are just wanted I needed to hear. What a blessing you are. I am so thankful for your ministry of writing and the words you use to encourage others, even while you are needing encouragement. I mean this with all my heart. You are in my prayers. Keep trusting our Lord. You are loved.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: