that crazy cancer girl

My journey through cervical cancer

My Other Disease

on March 13, 2014

JHE_ThankfulHeart_Heart

I was standing in front of the door holding it open and yelling, will you hurry up? Let’s go! Come on! We were running behind and I HATE being late for anything! Our Dad taught us the value of being early for everything as to not take advantage of someone else’s time. However now, we have a teenager who likes to primp a little bit longer and 2 boys who seem like they lose one shoe on purpose when it’s time to walk out the door. It’s a constant thing of Mom, do I even have to wear shoes? Yes son, we are not the Flinstones, you have to wear something on your feet!

When Darin is out of town, I am the only responsible adult that is taking care of the kids. It’s just Me, the kids and a constant running SUV going from this practice to that practice and everything in between. While they are at school, I am doing load after load of laundry, cooking, cleaning, running errands, paying bills… oh the bills. When they come home it’s homework, projects, practices, I have to feed them at some point and then showers, prayers and bedtime.

Today I felt like I was floundering! Riddled with worry of the unknown, frustrated with the present. My heart felt so heavy, dreading the next few days on my own. I looked up and said, Lord, I need a miracle in the midst of all of this. I am in pain and need to rest and I can’t for a few days and I need your strength! It’s just like God to show me that I unfortunately have another disease other then cancer. Worry, boredom and frustration were all mere symptoms of the disease of ungratefulness. Yes, I was being ungrateful. Some might argue that worry is not a sign of ungratefulness, but think about it. Worry and gratitude cannot coexist.

Instead of stressing over doing it all myself, I should be thanking God for the amazing three kiddos that He has blessed us with. I should be thanking God that we have a reliable vehicle to run them from activity to activity, I should be thanking Him that regardless of the pain I am in, that He got me out of bed this morning and I am still able to move around and do things. I can’t speak thankfulness and gratitude in my prayers if I am worried about what is going to happen next. Worry is like a weed that is taking over my soul where I should have been letting gratitude blossom.

I had to pray for God to please fix my ungrateful heart and change my outlook from worried and stressed to thankful and forgiven.

Do you look at the gift of each new day as a burden before it even gets started? When was the last time you thanked God for your job instead of wishing you didn’t have one. Next time you get in your car to drive somewhere do you thank God for a running vehicle so that you don’t have to take the bus? Most of all do you thank God for your kiddos instead of complain that they never listen to you or yelling at them? Take time today to examine your heart. Is it a diseased ungrateful heart? If so take time to talk to God into changing your worries into gratitude.

Psalms 136:1 – Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good, for his steadfast love endures forever.

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One response to “My Other Disease

  1. Sharon Albright says:

    Sarah, You’re right! Worry and Gratitude cannot co-exist! I’m going to remind myself of this! Again God has given you the words that I needed to hear! Love you. Praying!

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