that crazy cancer girl

My journey through cervical cancer

Are you Whining?

on April 10, 2014


It was break time at work and I headed for the vending machines to get a snack and soda. I put my money in and punched in the number for what I wanted and waited… nothing. I gave it a little tap and still nothing, I punched it and although my fingers hurt I still got nothing. I looked for the closest thing to an employee to complain that I did not get what I deserved, what I had paid for. It was mine and I wanted it!

When I thought about this story I thought about how that time with the vending machine was kind of like my prayer life… I approach God with MY wants and MY needs and I throw a good child like tantrum if I don’t get it. I think if I read my bible then He will give me what I want, if I pray just a little longer each day He will answer my prayers, maybe if I act a little more spiritual, then maybe I will get His attention.

When I act like that I am trying to strip God of His power and in a way I’m trying to tell Him how to do things better. I mean I have been a good spiritual girl, right? God will never answer and never fulfill when we have attitudes like that. I remember when I got to sit on my Daddy’s lap as a little girl. I had all of his attention when I would sit there. I would snuggle into him and twirl my fingers through his beard and I felt safe. If I whined and cried and told him that I want things my way and I wanted them now then he certainly would have put me in my place.

God is the same way… He is just like our Father. We can go to Him and He will be gentle with us, but we certainly cannot tell Him how to do His job. We can cry and whine all we want and tell Him that we deserve this or we deserve that. God is not one to answer to demands. He is one to hold us and love us. He is ready and waiting for any circumstance that we are facing.

While I am in this waiting pattern to get results from the PET scan, I have felt like yelling and screaming and telling God how I want the outcome to be. I can’t though… I know He will help me with whatever the outcome will be. My sister Laura said it best today when she text me and said, “We will deal with whatever they tell you.” I know I have so many people praying for me and for my sweet hubby and kiddos. I don’t know what God has planned for me, but I know as my Father He will love me and care for me and He will guide me gently through this storm.

Are you like a kid throwing tantrums sometimes because life isn’t going your way? God says be still and know that I am God. We don’t need to tell Him how to run our lives, He has everything under control. He still hears our prayers and will answer in His time.

Psalms 46:10  He says, “Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations,  I will be exalted in the earth.”


2 responses to “Are you Whining?

  1. Sharon says:

    Praise the Lord! Know that I don’t forget you and your family. I’m praying! God loves you and so do I.

  2. Lord knows I needed to read this!

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