that crazy cancer girl

My journey through cervical cancer

He makes Beautiful Things!

on April 16, 2014

agave1   6aa2e24635f4e4c5af055b5fca803eb3  century-53343810632

One of my favorite plants hands down is called the Century plant or another name is Blue Agave. Most people hate them, but ever since I first set eyes on one, I have been so intrigued with this plant! It gets huge! Like bigger than man huge! I bought one several years ago and had to keep transplanting it because I didn’t have enough room for it to grow. With 3 kids always running around the back yard, I couldn’t have it there because the leaves on it will tear your skin up. The leaves are thick and spikes run from one end to the next. It is an ugly plant that mostly thrives in the desert, but living in a “tropical” location we see them everywhere around here.

The reason I love this plant so much though is every year it gets bigger and uglier, but through all of that growth and years and years of thick, ugly, spiky leaves something amazing happens. Out of the center of this plant comes a stalk over 2 feet wide that will rise 20 to 25 feet tall in the air and produce huge beautiful flowers in just a matter of a few days! After years of ugliness the beauty that was inside pushes through and stands tall, beautiful and proud in the midst of a dry and dusty desert.

I have to admit for the past year or so I have felt like that century plant. I have hurt and lashed out in pain to others. I must have looked like a spiky unapproachable plant because although I tried not to let the pain get to me, I still had days where it just hurt to talk or be around anyone. I felt ugly on the inside and the outside and no amount of anything could help me with the way I was feeling. Until last week when I got that phone call from my doctor. I felt as though God restored my brokenness, my pain and my ugliness and allowed that healing and beauty to push through with it’s vibrant colors, sweet fragrance and His strength.

It’s not that I had given up on God, I just couldn’t see the full scope of what His plans were for me from beginning to end. Through all my times of doubt He was making me beautiful from within. I just had to sit back and wait for Him to push that through me so I could begin to see that He was working something amazing in me.

Finally hearing good news after bad news almost every week has mentally healed me. I have been able to keep smiling and honestly when you mentally feel good, everything else just feels good! I still have a long journey of healing. My body has been through so much through all of this. I am still fighting the infections and praying that God will heal my kidney to get this tube out. Although the size of a pencil eraser, I still have cancer and I still have pain, but I am thrilled beyond thrilled of what God has done for me in shrinking it to this small little spot! I know He is making me beautiful from the inside out and I long for the day when I hear those words that I am cancer free! I haven’t been able to stop smiling since last Friday and I will continue to believe that God has something amazing in store for me!

Are you feeling ugly and spiky and unapproachable because you are hurting? Or are you ready to bloom? Whatever the circumstance know that God takes something ugly and turns it into something beautiful if you just go to Him. He will meet all your needs! If you are hurting today can I pray for you? If you are ready to bloom can I rejoice with you?

Romans 12:15   Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn

One of my favorite songs is from a group called Gungor. This songs speaks volumes! Take a few minutes and listen

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