that crazy cancer girl

My journey through cervical cancer


on June 16, 2014


Well… tomorrow is the big day… I honestly don’t know what I am feeling right now. The house is quiet as we took the kids to friends of ours for the night since we have to be at the hospital early. Darin is finishing up watering his garden and I just got done packing for the hospital.

I haven’t cried yet and I am hoping I don’t. I got a little teary when we left the kids because the prayer in my head was, just let me see them again God. I’m sure it will all hit me tomorrow when they are getting ready to wheel me in. I know God will take care of me because I don’t think my story is done yet. I believe He has great things in store for me. If I allow my thoughts to take over and listen to all the negative my Dr. is telling me then I am leaving no room for God to work a miracle in me.

Believe it or not, the one thing I am feeling is peace. I am human and I am nervous, but most of all I feel peace. I know God can and will bring me through this surgery. If you want to pray for specifics then they are as follows 😉

-Pray that it will be a laparoscopic surgery so I can heal quicker. If not then he will have to cut me from hip to hip and that means a 2-4 month recovery.

-Pray that he is able to get all the cancer out and this nightmare will be done!

-Pray that I will be able to get this tube out and no more will be added. The Dr. has told me he thinks I may have to get a colostomy bag,,, No thank you!!!! NO MORE TUBES!!!!

-Pray that I am not in too much pain. I know a surgery this big includes a lot of pain, but just pray that I can handle it and that I wake up from the surgery easily. I usually do not wake up from surgeries that well and I would like to feel peace when I wake up and not try to rip tubes out of me.

I know God can do all of these things and with your prayers I fully believe that God will do all of these things. Thank you each and everyone of you that has walked this journey with me up to this point. I would not have been able to do it without you. The cards, meals, flowers, gifts, visits, phone calls, text. The list goes on and on and it has meant the world to us!

It will be awhile before I can get on here again, but I WILL get on here again and obviously share this wonderful story of God’s grace that He has in store for me! Thank you again for your prayers!

I know so many of you have told me that you are praying or you have had your church pray. If you could tonight, share this blog on your facebook, through your emails, however you communicate and ask for extra prayers for not only me tomorrow, but for the Dr. For God to guide his hands through this surgery. Pray for my sweet husband who will be holding down the fort while I am recovering. He is under so much stress with work, me, the kids, bills. It all adds up and I want him to feel peace through this. Pray for our kiddos that God would give them a special peace in their little hearts that they will be able to help Darin out with things around the house and be strong and brave.

Pray for my family and Darin’s family as this is a hard time for all who do not live close and want to be here, but can’t. Just for God to give all of us a peace through the surgery and through the recovery. I know my heart will be singing when all of this is said and done. Again I know God has big plans for me! I am just like my Daddy and I am a stubborn Polock! I do not give up easily and won’t got down without a fight 😉

John 14:27 Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid.


6 responses to “PRAY!!!!!

  1. Crystal P Tucson AZ says:

    Praying for Peace…for ALL of you and a quick recovery.

  2. Julie Englert says:

    You and your family our in our thoughts and prayers. I have had cancer and it runs in my family. So I understand some of what you are going throw. When I would wake up during the night and didn’t want to wake Jon. I would just talk to God to get me throw the night. Power of faith, prayer, good support and good doctors will help get you throw this. Keep up the good fight and believing.
    I had cancer 3 times in 5 years and next May will be my 10 years of no drugs, treatment or cancer. Party time! My parents lived in Iowa and I am in AZ, so it was hard. When I was told I had my first cancer my Mom just got told she had lung cancer. It had been 7 years since her breast cancer. They gave her 6 months to live. She told me not to stop my surgery, I had some problems and didn’t think I was going to get home to see her. When I did I didn’t think she would make the year. We got with her 3 times that year. She called me one night and told me she didn’t think she could keep doing it. I told her that we both are seeing signs of the world coming to the end. That the devil was trying to get everyone he could and God said he could attack her because she was strongest in her faith and the men in our family can’t take anything. Mom laughed. I said God need people too and he needs miracles to do this and that I thought she was going to be one of Gods miracles. She said yes I am and I will keep fighting. She lived 6 more years and was not even on treatment all that time. She helped others go throw their cancer even me. I told her I was sorry, because she had to go throw her cancer to make me strong for mine. So I did the same for someone else and told them to help someone else go throw their cancer. Mom also brought 2 people to the lord. I was told this at her death. She made the medical books also. When the cancer went to her brain the doctors told us she should not be able to know what she was doing.She had 13 tumors and 3 more growing. So they were so surprise when they told her to move her arm she did. She was still writing checks. She did good until the very end. So believe, pray, have faith and never stop talking to God. You will be gods miracle this year. I believe it.

  3. Judy Englert says:

    Our prayers are with you and your family.

  4. I am praying for you & your family. God is still in the miracle making business & I pray He heals you swiftly & completely. In Jesus name I pray! Amen!

  5. Sandra Hess Greenfield says:

    Sarah praying for you and your family, God will see you through this, keep the faith, he will not let you down. We love you, Hugs!!!

  6. I heard about you from Cheryl P. She shared this link on Facebook and I had to *Follow* I don’t know what the outcome of all this will be and I don’t have some lame anecdote for how everything’s going to be okay but I, like you, believe in the living God, the one who works all things together for good for those who love Him and are called according to His purposes. Don’t loose sight of those promises…He is faithful and true. Even if the worst case scenario happens…trust Him.

    Lets say that’s it…worst case scenario, you don’t live to read this comment I know it would be terrible for those you left behind but Heaven is an awesome place, far better than we could ever imagine and it’s my trusting and knowing that awesome truth that keeps me from being afraid of death. The one thing I do worry about though is my baby she is only 3 years old…I can’t stand the idea of ever leaving her…I don’t have any control over death though, any more than I do over life and if and when it’s my time to go I know my precious daughter will ultimately be okay. God will be faithful to her just as He has and will continue to be faithful to me.

    I can’t begin to understand what you might be going through, I am not sick with cancer and I hope to never be…in all honesty this kind of sickness makes me angry, I don’t understand why God allows such things to happen but I do know that He has a plan and that He will ultimately be glorified. I don’t have any words that won’t sound hollow, I can’t offer you the comfort I want to give…and why should you accept it from a stranger…but I am your sister in Christ and I will be praying for you.

    With Love in Him (because without it we are as a hollow gong),

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