that crazy cancer girl

My journey through cervical cancer

I am Blessed!!!

on June 25, 2014

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I had a friend in high school who went out for the evening and never made it home. His car went off the side of the road, flipped down an embankment and slammed into a tree… It was one of the worst moments that I can remember in high school. He never got a chance to say goodbye to his parent, his grandparents, his brother, his friends. He just went out and never came home. I remember going to the funeral and his poor Mama sitting just screaming, why God, why? I don’t understand God, Why did you take my baby? It was so painful to watch her raw emotions come to surface in front of so many.

I have lost other friends over the years, but this one always stuck in my mind because I was asking the same thing. He only had his license for 2 weeks and he was so young. I didn’t understand why God took him, but He did and I would no longer walk those halls in school with him. I would no longer hang out in his garage while he attempted to be the next Jimi Hendrix on the guitar.

Over the years I have always wondered why people had to be taken so suddenly. Without notice, without preparation and sometimes in the loneliest of matters when they end up taking there own lives. The people left behind hurt so bad and they start questioning themselves. Life can be so unfair and we will never be able to answer those never ending questions that loom over us.

When I think of my situation, I hope this doesn’t sound like I am rubbing it in everyone’s face because that is not my intention at all, but I feel so very blessed. I am hoping and praying that God gives me a miracle or at least quite a few more years. However I know it will happen and I feel blessed because I get a chance to say my goodbyes, I get a chance to prepare our children, I get a chance to travel and see friends and family. Not many others have that opportunity and I hurt for them and the ones they left behind, but in the same breath I am thanking God for this chance to finalize life.

Next week we will be starting a 2 week road trip all the way to Iowa and back, but stopping in Indiana, Kansas City, St. Louis, Nashville and a few other towns. We are visiting family who we don’t get to see but every couple of years. I get the honor of meeting a dear friend of mine for the first time after talking over the past 14 years!! I can’t even begin to tell you how exciting that will be!! I get to see a cousin that I haven’t seen in over 20 years and a Aunt and Uncle that I last saw 11 years ago! So many beautiful faces and so many laughs and memories, pictures to be taken and hugs to be given. I can’t wait for this whirlwind trip to live life to the fullest!

Tomorrow my Daddy is coming in town to stay the week with us and I simply am overjoyed at having him to myself for a whole week! I am going to take him fishing just like he used to take me, I am going to take pictures of him with the grandkids and laugh till late into the night. Just when it looked like the bad news I received last week would dampen this summer, I have decided to turn things around and thank God for the moments that are waiting for me this summer!

Life is so very short and I am truly blessed that God has given me the opportunity to live these memories, to see those who mean so much to me and to wrap my arms around a dear friend for the very first time. I am blessed to be able to take the chance to spend time with my Daddy and hit the open road with my hubby and our kiddos to make memories.

I will let you in on something that Darin and I do every morning, every night and every day. Before he goes to work we pray with each other, we pray for a good day, for traveling mercies and for God to bring us back together as a family later that evening. When we lay down at night we pray for each other for God to keep his guardian angels around our home and to bring us through the night safely. We do this because we never know if one of us will go out and not make it home, we pray at night because we never know if one of us will go to sleep and never wake up.

I would hate it if that were to happen and we didn’t take the time to tell each other how much we loved each other or went to bed mad with each other. We also do the same with the kids before they go to school each morning. I never want to live with the regret of never getting to say goodbye.

Tonight know that you are blessed, take the time to stop what you are doing and go and hug the ones you love and let them know how much they mean to you. Put down that phone or tablet, close up that laptop and go sit down and watch a movie with your hubby or play a game with your kiddos. Don’t let precious time slip by without appreciating the life that is in front of you. Go make memories, take pictures, laugh and enjoy this summer with those you love. And when that day comes when you don’t see them anymore, you can truly say, God blessed me and they knew I loved them without a doubt. You are blessed!!

James 1:12  Blessed are those who persevere under trial, because when they have stood the test, they will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him

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2 responses to “I am Blessed!!!

  1. Kelly Thomas says:

    Your outlook on life at a time of adversity is such an inspiration. Thank you for being so honest and open and sharing your journey. I look forward to reading your words of wisdom with each new post. May God bless you and your family as you embark on your journeys.

  2. Deborah Friend says:

    Thanks for sharing your story! You certainly give all who read your blog encouragement to live our lives differently. Thank you and God Bless.

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