that crazy cancer girl

My journey through cervical cancer

Thoughts from my Daddy!

on June 27, 2014

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As promised, here is the guest post written by my Dad. Literally… He wrote it out in pen and I get the pleasure of typing it up because he doesn’t know how to use a computer and still uses his old typewriter daily. 😉 I hope this blesses you as much as it blessed me and make sure you have tissues handy!!

 

My daughter Sarah asked me to write a guest post on her blog. She wanted me to share with you my feelings on her situation with cancer…

Where does a man start to write a blog when he has seen 70 years of his life go by? My accomplishments have been many, my tasks have been completed and my life has been blessed. I lost my firstborn to cancer in 1977. Lisa being our first child, was very special. She lived for one thing and one thing only and that was school. Even if she was sick with a cold she would fake being well just so she would not miss school. In fact, she had the school bug so bad that even during summer breaks do you know what she liked doing the most? You guessed it, she loved to PLAY school! The only bad part of this was the other kids were her pupils and they did not know enough to quit. 😉

One day Lisa said, “Mommy, can I stay home today, I don’t feel good.” We didn’t think much about it, after all every child has a moment when they don’t feel good. On the next day, Lisa made the same request and Dru and I felt we should take her to the Dr. just to have her checked out. He showed signs of concern and did a whole battery of test. The very next day in the evening he called the house to tell us to be in his office at 6 am. I immediately felt something was wrong as no Dr. wants to see a patient at 6 am.

After being seated, he then dropped a bomb on us when he said, “Lisa is already in the advanced stages of cancer and I will make arrangements at Children’s Hospital in Washington, D.C.” Our world was shattered, our thoughts were confused, our minds were so mixed up, we thought they would never work properly again. Oh God, we cried, where did we go wrong? What caused this cancer to come about Surely you will heal her, won’t you Lord? After we ran out of questions, then the tears started to flow. At the tender age of 10 years old, Lisa went home to be with the Lord. It took a long time to get over losing a daughter. I have a picture of her in my office and every time I look at it, I will sit and remember all that we did in those 10 years.

Actually you never really get over losing a loved one, as the pain is always there. I had a friend tell me, “You’ll get over it”… That was the first time I felt like putting a knot on someone’s head. In all honesty, you NEVER get over losing a loved one. The pain may get less, but it’s always there.

From the time Lisa died, all I ever heard was cancer, cancer and more cancer. It was like people never died of any other illness, only cancer. One day I seen my loving wife take hold of her arm like she was in pain. I decided to not say a word as she did not see me looking at her. Then it happened again and again. After supper on evening, we sat in our rocking chairs on the deck and just talked about the events of the day. Wanting to say something funny and since she had not yet started rocking, I asked her, “Honey would you want me to show you how to get your rocker started?” We both had a good laugh over this and then I looked at her eyes, held her hand and then kissed her.

It was then that I told her I have seen her in pain and what was wrong with her. Knowing Dru would never lie, yet never let herself get into a verbal jam, she said, “Honey, I guess I’m just getting old.” She then immediately changed the subject. Dru knew something that I didn’t. She knew a secret and she wasn’t going to share it with me or anyone else.

Dru and I shared 42 wonderful, blessed, anointed, and loving years of marriage together. They were special years for us both. Do you know what made them so special? It was a verse of scripture that told us to NEVER let the sun go down upon our wrath and we didn’t. I worked 2 to 3 jobs just about every day of my life and I can assure you that when I went to bed, I was tired! BUT if there was any ought between Dru and I, there was no sleep for either of us until things were settled under the blood of Christ. So for 42 years, we did just what that verse of scripture told us to do.

Little by little, Dru seemed to get worse, yet she never let on the anything was wrong. She was just her ole loving self. Then before I knew it, she was in the living room of my oldest daughter Laura’s home under the loving care of hospice. Laura also took such wonderful, loving care of her Mother. Dru was in want of nothing. By this time, I have heard the word cancer so many times it made me sick!

However I knew the Lord was going to heal Dru. On the morning of her last day, I was about 6 inches from her face when she drew her last breath. Even then, my thoughts were, “Okay Lord, show us your power and might, show us how you did all those healings and miracles in your word. Please Lord, don’t let me down, I have told so many people that you were going to heal Dru, show us Lord.” :Dru, wake up!! Please Dru wake up!! Please Honey… don’t leave me.” But Dru was gone. She was now living in a new home.

The home that my Lord Jesus had built for her. Forty-two years has come to an end. I sat in a daze as they moved Dru’s body to the hearse. Then hospice came and took the bed and everything also that belonged to them. The area was cleaned and before long, it was like nothing ever happened. My thoughts now turned to the Lord and I asked Him, “Why Lord, Why? Why did you allow her to die? Why couldn’t you just touch her  and she would be healed? I just don’t understand things anymore!”

Of all the years of serving the Lord, I spent 36 of them as a minister and a prison chaplain. I guess I thought this would get me some special recognition from the Lord… No way!! I just sat and was troubled over my thoughts and mixed feelings. It was the night of the funeral and I had just got into bed. All of a sudden I felt like I was not alone. I looked around the room and this overwhelming feeling of peace and comfort came over me. I heard this inner voice say to me, “I have it all under control.” I cried my heart out and I felt peace everywhere.

I had so many questions, “What was I going to do with my life, How was I going to handle being alone, was I ever going to remarry?” The questions kept coming. Finally that inner voice spoke again and said, “Go to sleep, I have it all under control.”

Nine months ago, I received a phone call from Sarah and said through tears, “Daddy, I have cancer.” Oh Lord, Dear God, not again!!! Please, I beg you not to take Sarah from Me!! Lord, how much more can a father take? How many more times must I hear the word cancer? Surrender? NO!! Give up?? NEVER!!! Back off?? NO!! Run away from it all? Absolutely not!! Fight and pray against this cancer with the Lord in control? You better believe it!! I have been a fighter all my life, going through more surgeries then one body should ever go through, so why should I quit now? Sarah is just like me and has been a scrapper all her life, a fighter and she has a will to fight through this.

Sarah is no different then Lisa or Dru. I prayed for them and I will pray for her. I know my Jesus will hear me. Will He heal Sarah? Yes, He will. You see, if He doesn’t heal her here on earth, He will heal her in Heaven. Scripture tells us, there will be no sickness, no pain, no missing limbs and no suffering what so ever! WOW, that’s for me!!

So where do I go from here… I’ll tell you, right into the arms of my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. Will He take Sarah home with Him? I don’t know. Will He heal her? I don’t know, but I am praying He will. Many of you assured me that you are praying for Sarah. Please don’t stop. There is such power and might in prayer.

In fact in 1 Thessalonians 5:17 it tells us, to pray without ceasing! When I first read this shortly after being saved ages ago, I thought, How can I do this as I need time to eat, work and do other things. I went to my pastor about this and he explained that it meant to be in an attitude of prayer. I like that, I now understood. Please join me in an attitude of prayer, not only for Sarah, but for everyone that is suffering with this horrible disease.

Thank you for allowing me to share my heart with you. Let us together, desire in our hearts to stand strong for Christ and we will be amazed at what He will do not only for Sarah, but for many others as well. In closing please allow me to share two things with you.

1. Psalms 34:3 Oh magnify the Lord with me and let us exalt His name together! We can do this and when we do, blessings will flow.

2. The second thing I want to share with you, is the Lord has told me, He has it all under control!!

God bless you all now and always,

Reverand Tom “Big T” Misiewicz

 

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9 responses to “Thoughts from my Daddy!

  1. Joelle says:

    That was beautifully written and the tears are flowing, you are very lucky to have a loving Father by your side. I will continue to pray for you and your family. Let me know if I can help in anyway.

  2. Esther Edwards says:

    We just read this together and thank the Lord for your unwavering testimony, Tom. We remember the journey with Dru and the many memories you shared of Lisa. What a legacy of faith in tough times. Sarah – we stand with you in prayer and expectancy.

  3. Vicky (Lux) Brothers says:

    Wow! I should not have read this at work *sniff*. This is a great writing with so much love flowing through it. Your Dad is a strong, amazing man! We continue to pray for you.

  4. Freida Jo Mack says:

    Thank you Rev. Tom for sharing your pain, your heart, His Hope with us. Now I know where Sarah learned her strength and faith! I too will keep “an attitude of prayer” and will keep in the forefront of my mind that “The Lord has it ALL under control.” Blessings and Peace for you and your family.

  5. Kim Collins says:

    So Beautiful! I have flooded my floor with tears that continue to fall from my face. I now know where Sarah got her beautiful writing ability…her daddy. What a blessing to have read the beauty and love that comes forth from such a wonderful man; wonderful father. We join with you in prayer for Sarah’s complete healing; her miracle. I loved her mom so much and miss her dearly yet I rejoice in knowing where she now lives. God’s richest blessings upon your life and many thanks for sharing your heart with all of us!!

  6. Lorie Foster says:

    I am finding myself speechless through the tears…What a beautiful piece of writing straight from your heart. I can see where your son gets his strong faith from. I will be praying for Sarah and your family w/o ceasing (one of my favorite verses of all times). Thank you for sharing a piece of yourself…I have been blessed by reading it.

  7. Sandra Hess Greenfield says:

    Yes , Tom what a beautiful message from your heart. I know my sister Sharon really misses Dru she thought the world of her. I am praying for Sarah and her family all the time. Lord please touch this family in a special way that only you can do. I am keeping the faith , we love you!!

  8. Therise McCormick says:

    Brother Tom, we miss you! What a beautiful story of love, strength & encouragement. My sweet Sarah we have a lot of beautiful memories from cold showers at camp to sleepovers at the house & flashlight tag. Your beautiful smile is always there, I will stand together in faith & believing for your miracle!!! Love you my sweet Missionette 😘

  9. Barbara & Terry Vickers says:

    Dear Brother Tom, Your words have really spoken to my heart in a way that I cannot explain. Thank you, for sharing your thoughts and feelings with us. I have had some of the same questions myself, when I have lost my loved ones, but you really answered my questions, when you said, “God is in control and he will take care of the situation.” He knows the beginning and the end…we just need to rest in him. We love your daughter and family, We will continue to lift them up in our prayers. As you know, “God is too wise to make a mistake and too loving to be unkind”. We love you all!!!!

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