that crazy cancer girl

My journey through cervical cancer

What are you Placing Your Hope in?

on July 21, 2014

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In every season, in every change
You are near
In every sorrow,
You are my strength
You are near

A peace in the storm
Your voice I will follow
In weakness I rise
Remembering You hold the world

I’m holding on to hope
I’m holding on to grace
I’m fully letting go
I’m surrendered to Your ways

The anchor for my soul
Father You will never change

I love You, I love You

My great Redeemer,
My constant Friend
You are near
My faithful Father,
You took me in
You are near

I will remember Your promise forever
My Strength, my Defender
I can count on You
You are my Savior, My Hope and my Shelter
Your love is forever
I can count on You

Did you read the words? If you didn’t start back to the beginning and read them. This song speaks volumes to me! Tomorrow I go in to have my port put in. It’s a surgery that these Doctors do day in and day out. However it’s not something I am looking forward to and even though I know every person in that Angio lab, it’s still a little scary. I know I am in good hands and I am even in God’s hands so I know that everything will turn out just fine.

I have always been a tank top person. I don’t like shirts around my neck and I hate wearing sleeves. This is going to be a whole new world for me with trying to cover this port up until it heals and is not as noticeable as when they first put it in. I try not to think of the petty things about it and I am really trying to concentrate on what awesome things this port will do for me. I think of it as my hope…. No I have not taken my hope off of God, but in a sense I have hope that with this port, they will be able to easily get a line started to get chemo going. They will easily be able to draw blood. I have the worst veins and they never cooperate when needed.

Just like this song says, I am holding on to hope for this port to be an avenue to possibly allow the chemo to shrink this massive tumor. Most of all I am holding onto hope that God is going to work through this and bring healing for me. I’m not giving up anytime soon and I need to fight through the sickness, through the hair loss, through the pain to come out victorious in the end. I have said this before and I will say it again, I don’t think my story is done yet, God has something wonderful in store for me! I’m not letting go of that feeling!

I had another woman come up to me tonight and told me that I inspired her. I ask her in what way and she said she hadn’t had an exam in years and she has one scheduled for next week. That to me tells me that God is using me. I started this blog in hopes of not only getting things off my chest and to keep family and friends updated on what is going on, but most of all to bring awareness. If I have to go through this kind of pain to help someone else from going through it, then it was worth all of it! God is using me and I am so glad He is allowing me to be a vessel for Him!

The humbling part of it all is I don’t feel worthy when people tell me this stuff, I’m just Sarah a stay at home Mama of 3 amazing kids and a wife to one good looking bearded man. I have never done any major things in my life and people on the street pass right by me everyday because I am someone in the shadows. I don’t like the lime light and usually stray from any attention. I am just me, but God picked me to share His word with you and I wouldn’t trade it for the world!

I’m holding onto hope tonight that I will be healed, I’m holding onto hope that I come out of this a better Christian, a better wife, a better Mama and a better friend. I want God to continue to be my anchor through this storm. I don’t want to be tossed back and forth when things get rough. I used to sing a song when I was in Sunday school as a little girl about the foolish man built his house upon the sand and his house came tumbling down. It went on to say that the wise man built his house upon the rock and the house stood firm. It wasn’t talking about a house, it was talking about how are you going to live your life?

Will you surround yourself with people who drink, cuss and carry on or are you going to stand firm on God’s word and trust Him for your needs in life. I decided a long time ago to stand firm on God’s word and allow Him to be my anchor, to keep me standing strong through any circumstance. We never know what things will cross our path in life and if you built your house on the sand what will happen when those storms come?

What are you placing your hope in tonight? A bottle? Friends? Drugs? ( I tried that route, it didn’t work out to well) How about letting God be your anchor and learn to stand firm in His promises. You won’t regret it! Listen to this song tonight and allow it to minister to you. Put your hope in God!

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3 responses to “What are you Placing Your Hope in?

  1. Barbara & Terry Vickers says:

    Sarah, you are simply amazing!!!! You are in our thoughts and prayers this week. I wish I could just be there to hold your hand thru the whole week and tell you how much you are loved by all your friends, family and especially God. His “presence” will be there with you and will make himself known to you in a “special” way.
    I was told one time, that “when we came to the end of our rope…just tie a “knot” in it and continue to hold on.” God is truly amazing and his works are amazing. You are a WINNER, Sarah in more ways than one. We love you. Terry & Barbara Vickers.

  2. Deborah Friend says:

    Our thoughts and prayers are with you this week! You are such an inspiration! Blessings to you, Darin and the children!!

  3. Bob says:

    I thank God for the brief time he blessed and entrusted me with being your pastor. You strengthen my faith. Praise our Lord and Savior.

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