that crazy cancer girl

My journey through cervical cancer

Just Be Still

on August 17, 2014

046

Growing up we always sat on the right hand side of the church near the back. The pews were wooden with this mustard color seat covers. I always had a hard time sitting still and would go back and forth from end to end of the pew. I would make forts with the bibles and hymn books on the pews. I would take the yellow tithe envelopes and would write, Dear Mom, do you love me, circle yes or no and send back. If she circled yes, I would write out, since you love me can we get a dilly bar at DQ after church. She usually would promptly send it back with “no” on it.

Every Sunday morning we were entertained by Sunday School, but in the evening services, we had to sit in the service. That’s when I would be going back and forth. Mom constantly would say, Be still!! She would give me “the look” and I would sit still for a bit then be right back up. I heard “Be still” quite often over the years.

This week after hearing more bad news, I have had many talks with God! By talks I mean me doing all the talking, yelling, screaming and frankly acting like a 2 year old without a nap. Over the past 2 days, I have talked non stop to Him. I don’t know what I am trying to accomplish by talking or yelling non stop, but it sure is helping me feel better.

Over and over from friends, from family and I have even seen it on Facebook, they tell me over and over in the past 2 days to just Be still… The first couple of times, I just blew it off. How in the heck is one to be still when I have a lot to say to God!?! Then again and again I kept hearing it, just be still.

Today I had to take the kids over to church for play practice and a lady that has been like a second Mama to me came over to the truck as I was getting ready to jump out. She listened to me bear my heart and then she said, Sarah, you need to find yourself a quiet place and just be still… At this point I just have to look up to the sky and say, OK, I GET THE POINT!!! How does one find a quiet place when I have 3 kids and a busy schedule.

God obviously wants to make me stop talking and allow Him a little floor time. It’s always so hard for me to let go of the reigns and allow someone else take control. However this is God, I have allowed Him control of every aspect of my life. Or have I? Maybe I do talk to much and don’t give Him time to tell me what He wants of me. I am in constant prayer of, God heal me, God help me, God, I need you, but I am not listening enough to hear what His response will be.

He may have something really great to tell me and little by little He has been using friends, family and Facebook to tell me to Be still and I haven’t listened… This week it is my goal to find a quiet place, away from our kids, away from Darin, away from the phone and the computer. A place where God can talk to me because I have a feeling that He has something serious to tell me. I just need to sit and Be still.

How much talking do you do? Do you allow others to respond to your talking or do you just keep going without taking a breath? When was the last time you listened to God? Truly listened to Him? Do you have a quiet place that you can go to allow Him to talk to you? Is it hard for you to be still? How about stopping tonight and listen for His voice. You never know when He has something really important to tell you.

Psalms 46:10  He says, “Be still, and know that I am God;
    I will be exalted among the nations,
    I will be exalted in the earth.”

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5 responses to “Just Be Still

  1. Brandi Smeltzer says:

    Xoxoxo

  2. Debbie says:

    Praying for you to find that perfect time and place to take a break and just listen! Love you

  3. Anonymous says:

    An awesome lady.

  4. Sandra Hess Greenfield says:

    This is true we all need to be still and just listen to God. I know it is so difficult at times to do this, but when we do his peace just surrounds us and it is such a great feeling. Praying for you without ceasing!!

  5. Sarah, you don’t know me, but I am praying for you and your family. Your mother-in-law and I graduated from HS the same year (Royal, Iowa). I have a niece and a best friend who are struggling with serious cancer issues right now. I can only try to understand how your heart mush ACHE. However, because of your struggle, you are reaching out to others–those with cancer and those without. “Being still” is Godly advice. That is exactly when God speaks. I am praying this week that God speaks to you in a way that brings you some kind of peace and with the knowledge that you have the strength for this journey.

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