that crazy cancer girl

My journey through cervical cancer


on September 2, 2014


I was riding in the back seat of a white Monte Carlo circa late 80’s, early 90’s driving down the belt through Washington DC. A friend of mine with his mouth full of chew was driving with his wife in the shotgun. A few of my girlfriends and I were in the back seat with the radio jacked and singing at the top of our lungs. We were teenagers living free and having fun with the windows down and when the end of the song came, we all opened our mouths as wide as they could go so we could hit that last note just right!

Just as I did that, something nasty came flying in my mouth at full speed straight to the back of my throat. It caught me off guard and I started sputtering trying to spit it out. Finally as I got it all out and realized everyone was almost peeing their pants laughing at me. I then realized that my friend who was driving had spit his chew out the window and it caught the wind just enough to blow right in the back directly in my mouth… I’ll give you a moment to gag as I still have that reaction every time I remember that story. I constantly think, if only I would have shut my mouth then I wouldn’t have had to deal with such nastiness!!

Over the years, I have not opened my mouth that much. I don’t like to be in the lime light and I don’t try to make myself known in crowds. I guess you could say I am sort of a wallflower. I don’t mind being in the shadows as it’s really comfortable there. Many times I felt God wanting me to talk to this stranger or that stranger about Him, but I didn’t have the courage. I kept saying, “God, that’s not me, I don’t talk to random people. I like to keep my mouth shut.”

When I found out I had cancer, once again I felt God telling me and pushing me to tell more people about Him. “But God, I’m sick, I’m weak… I’m broken” Every time I disobeyed Him, I was losing a piece of myself. No one wants to listen to some sick person. The truth is, I didn’t believe God could shine His light through me, someone with cancer, someone who was falling apart. I didn’t want people to see me sick and broken. I prayed to just let me be and not make me bring someone into my happy little shell.

God obviously had other plans for me, plans to open my mouth! He didn’t care that I was sick, He wanted people to hear my words while I was sick, broken and weak. He wanted people to see that even through life’s trials, we can still rejoice and praise God! Through every circumstance we can open our mouths and praise Him with singing and prayers!

As much as I would have enjoyed having my mouth closed that nasty day of the flying chew, I am so glad that God has opened my mouth now to tell others about Him! Through the good days and the bad days, I will open my mouth and proclaim the glory of the Lord!!

How about you?? Are you a quiet person? Do you only get loud when something you are passionate about such as sports, cars or things of that nature come along? Or are you a loud person who likes to be heard all. the. time? What about when it’s about Jesus? How loud do you get then? Do you open your mouth wide and sing His praises or are you more of a closed mouth person. God certainly opened His mouth for you when He sent His son to die on the cross for your sins. He didn’t have to, but He loves you so much that He had no other choice. Think about the next time something arises where you can maybe tell someone about God. Will your mouth be open or closed?

Matthew 10:33  But whosoever shall deny me before men, him will I also deny before my Father which is in heaven.


One response to “OPEN YOUR MOUTH!!!

  1. Debbie Friend says:

    I am praying that I will remember this post the next time I am lead to open my mouth for God! Thanks Sarah! Hugs and prayers lifted for you today and everyday.

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