that crazy cancer girl

My journey through cervical cancer

Trying to Run

on September 22, 2014


I was screaming at my brother to take him away! Get him away from me Matt! The tears were streaming down my face as my brother tried to get me close to the ugliest, scariest, red headed, wrinkle faced man. He sounded like a demon when he talked and I kept running as fast as I could to get away. Matt kept telling me that this guy was good and he had good stuff. I just kept crying and trembling trying to get away.

Finally I ran up to my parents old bedroom and locked all the windows and doors so this man couldn’t get through. I laid down to get to sleep and before I knew it, I felt his slithery hand wrapped around my wrist as he tried to get a handcuff on me to tether me to himself. I started screaming for my Mom as loud as I could because I knew I would find comfort with her.

While I was screaming, Darin started shaking me to wake me up and I started to cry realizing it was just a nasty nightmare. I laid there for hours afterwards wondering what provoked that kind of a nightmare. Suddenly God showed everything to me. I have been doing my best to try and proclaim God’s name through this journey. I have been fighting and fighting to still thank God through the pain and suffering.

I also have been allowing depression and anxiety to slowly seep through my life and as hard as I fight it, it’s still there. The nightmare showed me that no matter how good of a Christian we are, no matter how much we strive to stay close to God, Satan will always try to get a foot hold in and slither his way into our lives to try and bring us down. To try and let us know that he can still get to us. When I was yelling for my Mom, I called for her because subconsciously I knew she was with God and she would help me wake up from this awful nightmare.

I never want to give Satan a foothold in my life. I have fought to hard and to long to get my life back with God where it belongs, to allow him to try and pull me back down again. Regardless of what I face on a day to day basis, I have to keep God as close as possible, because I can go to the best Dr in the world, the best hospitals in the world and take the best medicine, but God, He has the final say so on my life. He already knows whether this cancer will kill me or if it become a strong tower to praise his name through healing.

Satan is going to try to continue to bring me down. He will still try to do whatever it takes to keep my mind on my pain and off of Jesus. He can try as much as he wants, but he will never win. If you have read your bible, we already knows who wins in the end. We already know that regardless of what Satan tries, he still loses in the end.

Will I be scared at times? Absolutely! Will I have anxiety at times? I sure will, but you know what? I can give it to God and He will help me. I can’t let it dig in deep, I can’t let it take over my thoughts and my mind. I will continue to praise Him through this storm and when Satan wants to try and slither his way in, he better be ready for a fight!

What are you allowing to get to you lately? Has Satan been trying to get a foothold in your life to try and get you away from God, or keep you away from God? Pray against him today and don’t allow him to get close to you at all! Jesus wants to be the only one close to you. He wants you to come to Him in time of need and call on Him when things get tough. Through any storm go To Jesus and know that He will surround you in His safety.

James 4:7 Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you


One response to “Trying to Run

  1. Sharon says:

    Satan knows our weakest area. He will keep trying to get to us, but “greater is He that is in you than he that is in the world”. 1John 4:4. Our Lord is ever faithful, He will “never leave you or forsake you” Hebrews 13:5. So many times I have called out to the Lord and He has given me His Word. His Word is more powerful than any evil that may come against us! Sarah you are doing a mighty work for our Lord! Praise the Lord!! You are loved and are in my thoughts and prayers.

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