that crazy cancer girl

My journey through cervical cancer

A Better Year

on September 28, 2014

Female-patient-sitting-on-gurney-in-hospital-gown-low-section

Yesterday was a full year since I found out I had cancer. A full year since I sat on the edge of that gurney and heard those words, a full year that has changed me for the better. Yes I said for the better. In one year I have been through pure hell, I have cried myself to sleep at least half of this year, I have taken more drugs then someone on a street corner and I have been in more pain than anyone should have to bear.

However, I have gotten so much closer to God, I have gotten so much closer to my husband, my family and my friends. I have met amazing nurses that have changed my life for the better, I have met so many awesome people that have left a footprint in my life. Had it not been for cancer, I would not have met these people and I would have still been living day by day taking for granted every breath that I breathe.

We take so much for granted in our daily lives when so many others are struggling for theirs. My one prayer every day through this journey has been for people to see God through me. I’m not sure if I have conquered that in a year, but I’m going to keep on striving for that!

Last Tues I went in the hospital again in so much pain in my kidney with the tube in it. Come to find out that it is a non functioning kidney anymore and it will need to come out. I go Thursday for the whole pre surgery thing. I’m worried, I’m scared and I wouldn’t be human if I wasn’t. It’s just one more thing that I look up to the sky and say, God you have to have this under control because I certainly do not. I have a feeling this journey is going to keep going for a bit longer.

I certainly wouldn’t want it too, but I don’t know what else God has in store for me. He hears my cries of God, please heal me, please have mercy on me. He hears it all, but if He isn’t done, then He isn’t done. Not that my words don’t mean anything to Him, because they do, but He just isn’t ready to make that move yet. If He decides to take me, then there is no doubt where I will be going, but if He decides to heal me, then He is strengthening me day by day to shout His praises to the nations.

I don’t know what this next year will hold for me, but I know whatever it is, I will continue to worship Him and thank Him for everything He has brought me through and everything that He is going to bring me through. My story isn’t done yet and I will continue to share it as long as He allows me too.

What are you facing tonight? Has it been a trying year for you? Has God been close to you and helped you along the way? If not, all you have to do is ask and He will guide you through whatever it is you are dealing with. Try to find the good through the bad.

Psalm 50:15 and call upon me in the day of trouble;    I will deliver you, and you shall glorify me.”

 

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3 responses to “A Better Year

  1. Debbie says:

    Praying without ceasing! Just to affirm, Sarah, God is truly using you at this time in your life! Thank you for your witness and you willingness to share! Hugs and much love are being sent your way.

  2. Sharon says:

    Still praying! You are a great blessing! Love you and your family! “The Lord bless you and keep you…” Numbers 6:24. Will be praying for you Thursday. Your are loved!

  3. Sandra Hess Greenfield says:

    Sarah I am praying for you without ceasing, you will be on my mind and in my prayers all week and especially on Thursday. Sharon is right, you are a blessing and so is your family, just remember how much you are loved and cared about. God is right beside you, I know it’s hard not to be afraid and worry but put all your energy and faith in God. We love you!!

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